I've really neglected my blog. I'm just not sure what I want this blog to be. I do that I want it to be real...to show real emotion, faith, struggle, and triumphs.
God has been dealing with me lately about emptying myself out. Turning inside out. Ridding myself of selfishness and pouring myself out to Him. This is a real struggle in my life. I want to serve him, but I want to stay comfortable. I don't want stir up the calm waters that have developed in my life. But just as with any still pond, if it stays calm for too long it becomes stagnant. And mosquito infested. Useless for anything but breeding pests...not my idea of "living water".
We went to OC yesterday. I love the ocean. And I love sharing it with my son. To him it's new and awesome! The waves rolling in and out, constantly moving. Stirring. Nothing stagnant there. And when you look out upon the surface of the water it goes on for miles and miles. It seems to never end. And what looks to be still and calm, is teaming with activity underneath.
This is the scripture that has been on my heart all weekend...it's in Luke 18. A rich ruler came to Jesus asking what he needed to do to inherit eternal life. He told Jesus that he had been faithful keeping the commandments since he was a boy. But Jesus pointed out the one thing he was lacking, and the very thing that he couldn't give up because it was his god. He told the rich man to sell everything and give to the poor as to gain treasure in heaven...'"Then come, and follow me." When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was a man of great wealth. Jesus looked at him and said, "how hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."'
I'm not a rich man, and I'm sure most of us aren't, but what is keeping me from truly experiencing God's joy. What holds on to me daily and keeps me from entering into a deeper relationship to Christ. It's my true desire to go to the next level walking with Christ. "Sell everything you have...Then come follow me."
Show me Jesus what I need to get rid of Lord, what needs to go, in order to get closer to you. Empty me out, Lord, of what hinders my walk with you and fill me with yourself...