We live so much of our life in limbo, preparing for the future. It's fun to prepare for something. There's a lot of enjoyment planning an "event" or "service". Whether it be a vacation, rally, adoption, party or ministry. But sometimes the preparing takes over and we forget the reason we planned so long. Well, maybe we don't forget it, but we become somewhat lethargic when it arrives. Sometimes even depressed.
Like Christmas. So much preparation involved, when the actual day comes and goes, many people feel depressed. I call it a "holiday let-down". Not because you didn't get what you wanted, so-to-speak, but because it's over. Done. Finished. I don't want to be this way. I do find myself feeling this at times. Maybe not in extremes but I do feel this way.
Adoption is a life changing decision. And it truly has changed my life. I love living with my beautiful son. He is a joy and I know that he was sent by God to our family. Each day is new for him. He's growing and maturing, and I'm amazed at how much he has changed since Aug of 2006. Oh how time flys.
Now we wait once again and prepare for his brother. This really occupies alot of my thought processes. How will this change our family dynamics-How will Evy react to another child after getting all of our attention-Will the baby be healthy and what will his mental state be-How long will it take until he attaches and what specific needs will he have...will we be able to meet those needs?! The list goes on and on.
We are creating a room for him and Evy. This takes a lot of time and effort but is fun at the same time. But really, I just want to hold him. I don't want to live a life in limbo "waiting". I want to live NOW! So I'm praying that the Lord show me how. As I anticipate our future union with our son, I want to LIVE! Not get bogged down with emotional things I can't control. I have to say I've been OK. But lately, the past few days, I have contemplated far too much on the "preparation" and the "what-ifs".
Anticipation is what we do whilw waiting for Jesus to return as well. But we're not supposed to idly sit back and do nothing whilw "thinking" about it. We need to Live, Worship, Mature, Work, Play, Cry, & Laugh! Living for Today and Praising God for it, no matter what. As long as it is called Today! This is the Day the Lord has made! Rejoice!
So today I live for today. I have no real plan, I'm just living :-) Maybe tomorrow I'll have a plan. I've rambled, and if your still reading, I pray that God will bless you and your household today. He Loves you and wants to do miraculous things in your life. Take time to ask Him about it. God has planned an awesome party in eternity for you because He loves you. Wow, now thats something to think about!