I just couldn't imagine...

This is a post from my dear friend and fellow COP (special needs) adoptive mom's journal, Gayle Opp.

I just couldn't even imagine...
what our lives would be like without adoption in them. God gives us our first, our very first and most important picture of adoption in His Word--He adopted us. He chose us to be His children, blemishes and all! Imperfections not important, stubborn hearts, arrogant selves, unworthy beings--it doesn't matter to Him...He loves us unconditionally, without motives...pure love, perfect love! Today as I'm praying for our sweet Selah, my heart and my mind are drawn to her orphanage, quite likely FULL of children, children created by God...the same God who created you and me. Here we sit, with so much. There they sit, with so little. My heart is broken for the millions of children in the world who have noone to love them best. I truly believe God STILL asks us to love the least one of those, He STILL calls us to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, look after orphans. He STILL is their voice...He hears their cries and holds them close.

As I picture the day I meet Selah, I picture leaving the many, many children behind. Others who have gone before me talk of this longing to just bring them home. I can't. Can you? I have no idea whether or not I'll have the opportunity to visit the place where my daughter spent her first 71/2 years of life, but I certainly want to. I want to be affected, I want the Lord to imprint my heart so I don't forget.

I know...the unknown is frightening, I know adoption is expensive, but I also know God provides. This road is difficult and to be honest, many times I've wanted to make a U-turn and just go back to the simple life, to the comfortable life. Oh...what we would have missed! At times, I've wondered how this is affecting my children here at home....truthfully, I'm watching them mature into people who have a heart for orphans, who have an anticipation and excitement in them that isn't satisfied with a new XBox. They have prayed for a miracle and received a miracle...they are watching one of God's precious children have a family. Will it be difficult? Absolutely! Will there be moments of regret? Possibly. Will God provide? Definitely!

It's freeing to know that God is in control...He's leading us, placing us in the path He has chosen for us. How blessed we are He has chosen this way for us, giving us this desire, this burning in our hearts for a child we have never met. We are head over heels in love with a 7 year-old child living a world away.

I'm wondering what all of this is like for Selah. We've sent her a few care packages...did she get them? Does she understand what it means to be a part of a family? Does she know anything about America? Has she ever been around a man? As excited as we are, she is quite possibly freaked out! Can you even imagine? We know her life isn't good, yet it is her life. She knows no different. Here comes a white woman with some high-humidity hair, speaking a crazy language, smelling weird. The unfamiliar. We've had this conversation with our children often asking them what they would think if all of a sudden a Chinese woman snatched them out of here, brought them to China, where noone looks like them or sounds like them, then just asked them to be happy. Wow--our three children are all in agreement that it would be tough. Selah's perspective of adoption at first is probably not like ours at all!! All we can do is love on her, let her know how special she is, how wonderful she is. We can give her safety, security, and love and show her Jesus. It will take time and it will take energy...she is worth it. She is precious and chosen!

Our plane tickets are purchases...we have all we need, but our little girl. I will meet Selah on July 14 and she will meet the rest of our crew on July 23. We again, come to you, asking for prayer for our family.


For more information on Gayle's adoption stories click HERE!

1 comment:

Kathy said...

Good thoughts about adoption.