12/9/08

Please Pray...

Tomorrow is our birthparent interview. Ashers birthmom lives 3 hours away from PaP. Pray that this interview will take place with positive results and not DNA request. Pray for his birthmom, I can't imagine being a mom and doing this interview. Breaks my heart.

I've been very discouraged today for some reason. I'll just lay it out there, I feel very alone in this adoption. Please forgive me, I know that there are some who have waited a very long time. The wait is hard but I think my heart aches to connect with someone. During our adoption of Evan, we connected with a huge family of adoptive parents adopting from China who were "waiting" as well. This adoption is very different. I know it's partly due to not using an agency. Those using an agency do have that unity, unfortunity we aren't a part of that. Make me sad and somewhat envious right now because I'm needing it. But there is a huge community out there that are not agency specific. Except for a few of very wonderful blog buddies, I can't seem to connect. I hate that feeling. I'm confessing this right now and praying that God will show me His purpose and not my own "feelings". I was obedient in following His lead when he led us to Haiti. And it has proven to be a very lonely road.

When we began there seemed to be an excitement from those who were adopting from the same O. Then it stopped, there's been silence since. I want to be excited. I want to share the ups and downs of the process with fellow adoptive parents openly. Our children need us to be united, that's important for them to know that others have traveled the same path as they have. Connections. Family. That's what's lacking, Family.

I was thinking about starting an unmoderated yahoo group for anyone who has/is adopting from FHG. A Christian group. For lifting each other up in prayer. I wanted to do this before but because I moderate another special needs group(along with other things), thought it may be too much. But I'm willing to try it if others were interested.

10 comments:

Kathy said...

I hate what those rumors did to the unity and the positive spirit. There used to be a party feeling when planning the trips. There was tons of excitement on the yahoo group and group calls etc.

I understand. I love that we can have blogs because otherwise we would be alone. No one in our church is really invested (or is it "vested"?) in our adoption. Part of that is because it's taking so long and part is because they don't understand why we're doing it.

Kathy said...

P.S. Hope the mom shows up and has a peace about doing this. I know it must be hard to think that a stranger gets your kids because they have money and you don't. I hope mine will someday return to Haiti as doctors or teacher/missionaries.

Bill and Christina said...

Terry,
I am so very sorry that you feel all alone. I am here for you when ever you need to talk about anything. I certainly understand about waiting. Grace was just born when we were matched with her and she will be 3 this month. The walk is hard and lonely at times. You know how to find me.
Christina

Julie said...

Hi Terry-
Please know know that I will also be praying! Our first appointment didn't happen and I know how disappointing it feels!
This walk is certainly difficult, and even though many of us are growing weary, remember that we are always here! Keep pressing on my friend, for God is still in control!

Mark Sohmer said...

You're not alone, Terry.

Though I'm not adopting frmo Haiti, I for one often read your blog and am subscribed to it with my RSS reader program, so I get notified of updates.

Much more improtant, Jesus Himself is with you, just as He promised in His Word. And His Word trumps our feelings every time.

You are in my prayers. God has a reason even for these hard times.

That we can be sure of.

with love in Christ,
Mark (and the Sohmer's)

Heather said...

I'll be praying they show up for the interview and no DNA is requested.

I understand how you feel. I am really sad about what happened a while back with FHG. Things just haven't been the same since then. I really long to feel the unity again. I miss it. It has helped that several families have started blogs. Please know I am always here for you if you need anything. I think the yahoo group is a great idea. I would love to keep in contact with people even after my girls are home.

PS.The visa fee we paid for Sarah is because she isn't biologically related to the twins. It is the fee you paid when you filed your I-600a. Back when we filed our I-600a we only had to pay for the twins. At the end of the process you only have to pay another fee if you have another child that is not biologically related. I hope this makes sense.

Love,
Heather

Katy said...

I am definitely praying for your birthparent interview tomorrow..praying for Asher's mother to make it and have peace. Also praying for you, because I know this process can be HARD. I can completely understand your need for support and prayer, I am truly not sure I could even do it alone. I have a question about your yahoo group, I will email you privately.

A Momma in Waiting... said...

Thank you all so much. It's just been a really trying day and I so often wish I had the support of "friends" who are in this. I can see that I do :-) And I am feeling good about this yahoo group too. Sometimes I think we just need to know that we aren't alone... and you're right Mark, God is always with us, always... Terry

kayder1996 said...

Ditto on past situations...

Ditto on birth parent interviews...

And when we go next time to visit Conleigh, I am really going to try to make a concertated effort to get some pictures of Mirebalais for you to have for Asher. (and for us to have for Conleigh.) It's a bit hard because you're traveling with others on their schedule and don't want to be an inconvenience nor do I want to the blan gawker who is taking pictures of everything and acting like everything is simply there for my own phototaking/interest. But it's on my list of things I'd like to do. We really got to see quite a bit of Mirebalais and PAP when we went on our own last time so even if I don't get some good photos, I will have to try to write down our trip there so you'll have something to share with Asher about his home town. I still have no idea how he ended up at FHG because the road there is not short nor easy.

~Kim (and family) said...

Hi Terry,

For some reason I was thinking of you this morning and so glad I went to visit your blog. I pray God gives you encouragement today...I have found that during those moments when I am feeling alone in a situation and I try to reach out for people and no one is available are the very times God has been waiting for me to come to Him. Sometimes He makes it so He is all we have....

Kim