10/9/09

Challenge

To see full post go to: http://www.ourfamadventure.blogspot.com// It's been a challenge getting my boys to sit close enough to "like" one another. I know it hasn't been that long but I'd like to see some kind of progress here. I mean, they are so different....Personality, ethnicity, etc, but now brothers. And not really by choice either. But who "chooses" their siblings anyway?

We've had good moments, but mostly tolerence. Evan is feeling bumped out, and even somewhat depressed at times. Asher is now having a ball with his new, pain free (at the moment) life. You can just see his energy level rising every day. But you can also see that he knows his big brother isn't happy with him. Evan (4) is trying, but doesn't always understand why Asher (almost 3 but barely like a 2 year old in so many ways) responds like a baby, like throwing toys, or not responding at all because he doesn't know english. Evan has always been somewhat immature...and not always friendly social situations. He hates change.

How can we make this work for everyone? Any suggestions? I don't mean to sound like we are having major difficulties, just needing to facilitate "family". And stifling that green eyed monster!

6 comments:

Michelle said...

Terry,
I remember going through this at different times, between babysitting & my own children who had personality conflicts. We've dealt with the "nose being cut off" several times over the years.

Here are a few articles that might help (We've done a lot of this stuff with great success!):

http://www.familiesonlinemagazine.com/nanny/sibling-rivarly.html

http://www.parenting.com/article/Toddler/Behavior/How-to-Help-Siblings-Get-Along

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1834665/how_to_raise_siblings_who_get_along.html?cat=25

http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Sibling_Revelry_Raising_Kids_Who/

Hope they help.

We will continue to pray for you all! xo

kayder1996 said...

Kenson talks about Conleigh usually once a day and tells me all sorts of things like that he will share his toys with her and she can sleep in his room. We'll see how long those thoughts last once she actually arrives. It has to be so hard for their little brains to process it. It has to be such a blow to their ego, that life doesn't revolve around them as much as they had previously thought. And even worse, it's not just that they are being told no, it's that someone else is getting to hear yes. How hard that must be to process. And that doesn't even take into account his unmet expectations because I'm sure he was so excited for Asher to come home and now the excitement isn't being fufilled. My heart does go out to Evan. I'm sure it won't be like this for long.

Rose Anne said...

Terry,
My S had been home Haiti about 1 1/2 yrs when my sister brought home my niece also from Haiti. Since we live in the same house there was some tension ( even though they had different mommas).
Mr. S was no longer the only one with all the attention and he tended to make it know when it got to much for him....Since both of us work we did the caring for each others babies. It took about 6months for the order to take place. I made sure I got one on one time with him while she slept or when my sister got home but made sure that they did alot of things together...now today they are best friends.
It will take sometime but just make sure you have one on one time with them each. God Bless,
Rose Anne

Blessed Mom of Four, Now Five said...

Terry, I have very little advice, but I can pray...
I know I made sure to get some alone time with Josie-Tatum after we brought Ellie home. That helped tremendously.
So glad to know Asher is pain free, even if for the moment.
Love and prayers,
Robbie

Lisa said...

Kristi at

http://fireworksandfireflies.blogspot.com

Had a very similar beginning when they brought their son home about a year ago. I'm not sure if she has any advice but I'm sure her blog will be an encouragement. Her kids are the best of buds now!

Prenderbergs said...

I'm sure it will just take some time and patience; it's hard to make the little ones understand all that is happening. We're praying for you all ... special little prayer for Evan =o)