Keeps me going...

Older child adoption....some know what it's like. It definitely is different than our last 2 adoptions. But in many ways it's the same. I keep looking at this girl expecting "something older". But what I keep getting is a little girl. And I know that this is ok, good, and maybe even necessary, but it's weird for me. It's almost like I have to close my eyes and re-adjust my brain. Reminding myself Who lead us to this place. And the many miracles that took place in the past 12 months that confirmed her place in our family. Her family.

But it's rough.

And rewarding.

And scary.

And wonderful.

and and and and...... I'm tired.

But I'll wake up tomorrow refreshed and ready. Like I did the day I wrote this letter.

Arielle, 早上好!(Good Morning!) 4/8/2011

耶稣爱你. 妈妈爱你。

(Jesus Loves you. Mama Loves you.)


(This is what we are doing today)

你需要洗个澡 (淋浴)。(You need to take a bath (shower))

穿上干净的裤子。穿上干净的衬衫。(Put on clean pants. Put on clean shirt.)

刷牙。梳理你的头发。(Brush your teeth. Comb your hair.)

我们将离开12:00 (We will leave at 12:00)

我们将采取的男孩 (We will take the boys) 艾米的家 (Amy's home)

我会带你到医生 (I will take you to the doctor)

不要害怕。(Don't be afraid)

我永远不会离开你。(I will never leave you.)

我们会一起祈祷。求神帮助你。(We will pray together. Ask God to help you.)

永远不要忘记,你是美丽的. (Never forget that you are beautiful.)

永远不要忘记,你很聪明。 (Never forget that you are very smart.)

你可以祈祷的祈祷:亲爱的耶稣,(You can pray this prayer: Dear Jesus,)

请帮助我不会害怕。(Please help me not be afraid.)

请帮我了解耶稣基督的爱。阿门 (Please help me understand the love of

Jesus Christ, Amen)

妈妈爱你!(Mama loves you!)
She was so excited to read this letter! She ran upstairs and a few minutes later she came down with this:
The top is cut off but she wrote her whole name.
It's challenging, it's rough. But the reward will one day far outweigh any fleshy feeling I have about my momentary inconvenience. She is His Child. Not mine. Later on that day, she had a meltdown at the doctors and I totally forgot our morning moments...until now.
But I don't think she did.
When we put the boys to bed, she joins us. We pray and snuggle with the boys and kiss them goodnight. The other night, maybe the same night as the meltdown, after we put the boys to bed, she started for bed too. We usually pray downstairs together but she wanted us in her room, next to her on her bed, praying for her at nite nite. We prayed hugged and kissed her goodnight. Like tucking in a little one! How often was she ever tucked in!?
NEVER.... until now.  Lord, Keep reminding me...


Blessed Family said...

Hi Terry Thanks for your post... I just got home this past weekend and feel the same things you just wrote about... It is awesome- scary - I wonder what I did at times... and then I see the smile and laughs and know it will be worth it in the end... it is an adjustment though! Look forward to following your blog... How did you get the Chinese characters on your blog? Also do you have a translator for her to translate to you? I have been trying to find something or an app... I use google translator app to translate to her but wish she could express her thoughts to us... She also doesn't want to talk to my friends who are Chinese in Mandarin for some reason it is like she wants to forget it..

kayder1996 said...

Such a beautiful post that says so much about adoption!

Chris said...

Amen! the part about seeing an older child and getting a 3 y.o. ( in actions) So the story of my life...it keeps you hopping.

My DH reminds me often "remember you told me, they will need to grow up again...they will regress"
I do remember, but it is hard to live it.

Kathy C. said...

Hugs & prayers.

Blessed Mom of Four AND More said...

Oh, Terry! I want to read and reread and reread that letter to your precious child and all the more the note to you in return.

Keep the faith, dear sister!

Blessed mom said...


Thank you for being so open and honest. We will be following your footsteps soon and reading your posts has helped me so much, answering some of my questions and reminding myself to not forget to trust in Him. It is scary! But in God, all things are possible. I loved the letter. I too would like to know how you were able to use the Chinese characters.

Anita in KY

God's Grace said...

I'll do a post soon that explains how I got the charaters...I basically did it through google translate, but it's tricky to us and doesn't translate well everytime. But there is a way to get a good translation, just time consuming. Because Arielle is so old, we have to communicate this way for now.

jen said...

A firend shared your blog with me. We have been home 5 months today with our 7 year daughter Kim from the Philippines. I hear what you are saying about adopting an older child (;

Thanks for sharing (;


Laura L. said...

This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. It brings tears to my eyes. What you are pouring into her life is so beautiful. May God continue to daily give you all the grace, strength, wisdom and love that you need. He will refill your cup each day so that you can pour into her and your other precious babies.
Reading this somehow helps me get excited about what it will be like as we welcome another child in a few months.
The difficult and the beautiful...God knows how to mesh them together and give us His strength to do it.

Stephanie said...

Oh, I just love this! Such a great window into into older child adoptions and your daughter's heart and your love for her.
Would you be willing to let us repost this on WAGI (www.wearegraftedin.com)? It is a Christian adoption website/forum. If you are willing, we'd just need a brief biography and a picture to use when it is reposted.
Feel free to contact me with questions!

Kelly said...

Your story (God's story through your family) is absolutely inspiring to me. The love, compassion, understanding and commitment you have to your newest daughter is amazing. I always look forward to reading your blog and always come away encouraged.

Thank you!!

(Love the new header picture...we got those shirts while in China, too. So sad that they don't fit the kids anymore!)

Sheri-Gifts to China With Love said...

Finally! I found your blog again. I'd lost it for a little while. So glad you are home and setteling in. I pray that it keeps getting better and better, and the melt downs fewer and far between. You are such a sweet family. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your Red Thread journey to your beautiful daughter.


Gifts to China With Love