Older child adoption....some know what it's like. It definitely is different than our last 2 adoptions. But in many ways it's the same. I keep looking at this girl expecting "something older". But what I keep getting is a little girl. And I know that this is ok, good, and maybe even necessary, but it's weird for me. It's almost like I have to close my eyes and re-adjust my brain. Reminding myself Who lead us to this place. And the many miracles that took place in the past 12 months that confirmed her place in our family. Her family.
But it's rough.
and and and and...... I'm tired.
But I'll wake up tomorrow refreshed and ready. Like I did the day I wrote this letter.
Arielle, 早上好！(Good Morning!) 4/8/2011
(Jesus Loves you. Mama Loves you.)
(This is what we are doing today)
你需要洗个澡 (淋浴)。(You need to take a bath (shower))
穿上干净的裤子。穿上干净的衬衫。(Put on clean pants. Put on clean shirt.)
刷牙。梳理你的头发。(Brush your teeth. Comb your hair.)
我们将离开12:00 (We will leave at 12:00)
我们将采取的男孩 (We will take the boys) 艾米的家 (Amy's home)
我会带你到医生 (I will take you to the doctor)
不要害怕。(Don't be afraid)
我永远不会离开你。(I will never leave you.)
我们会一起祈祷。求神帮助你。(We will pray together. Ask God to help you.)
永远不要忘记，你是美丽的. (Never forget that you are beautiful.)
永远不要忘记，你很聪明。 (Never forget that you are very smart.)
你可以祈祷的祈祷：亲爱的耶稣，(You can pray this prayer: Dear Jesus,)
请帮助我不会害怕。(Please help me not be afraid.)
请帮我了解耶稣基督的爱。阿门 (Please help me understand the love of
Jesus Christ, Amen)
妈妈爱你！(Mama loves you!)
She was so excited to read this letter! She ran upstairs and a few minutes later she came down with this:
The top is cut off but she wrote her whole name.
It's challenging, it's rough. But the reward will one day far outweigh any fleshy feeling I have about my momentary inconvenience. She is His Child. Not mine. Later on that day, she had a meltdown at the doctors and I totally forgot our morning moments...until now.
But I don't think she did.
When we put the boys to bed, she joins us. We pray and snuggle with the boys and kiss them goodnight. The other night, maybe the same night as the meltdown, after we put the boys to bed, she started for bed too. We usually pray downstairs together but she wanted us in her room, next to her on her bed, praying for her at nite nite. We prayed hugged and kissed her goodnight. Like tucking in a little one! How often was she ever tucked in!?
NEVER.... until now. Lord, Keep reminding me...